Becoming Mamas

This is Callum – my adorable, non-talking 18 month old.  Milestones are funny things; you read about them in books or online, your pediatrician gives you a list and all the while it’s stressed to you that “there is a large range of normal” and “children develop on their own schedules.”  But when your kiddo hits the upper end of the “range,”  suddenly “not normal” becomes possible.

Callum has always been very physical (his latest nickname is “Sir Edmund Hillary” if that gives you a clue), so it seemed reasonable that his verbal skills would be on the back burner.  Plus he’s a he – and as it turns out, the stereotype that boys tend to talk later than their female counterparts is often true.  So at 15 months, when we reported no words on the developmental checklist at the pediatrician’s office, no red flags went up.  Sure some 15 month olds have quite a few words, but none is “normal” too.  Callum was already following directions, waving, pointing, etc. so our pediatrician said a word explosion would most likely happen before our next visit.

Our next visit was last week and we are still waiting on that word explosion.  Even though everything else seems to be right as it should be, we got the “referral” – as in a referral to our state’s Early Intervention program.   I’d heard about EI from other online mamas and the thought was in the back of my mind that we might be sent for an evaluation, so I wasn’t terribly surprised.  Still, it’s a bit disconcerting to hear that there might be something “not normal” about your child’s development – even if it is a very small chance or something easily corrected.  You can’t help but think bad thoughts or wonder if there was something you should have been doing differently.

Next week we have the first of two evaluation meetings.  I thought I might report on our experience since it seems to be an increasingly common phenomenon.  Part of me thinks it’s a great thing – addressing problems early on is certainly preferable to waiting until the gap has widened.  But there’s also a part of me that wonders if in some cases, it simply causes needless worry.  We’ve all heard stories about the kid who didn’t talk until 2 or 3 and went on to graduate with honors from Harvard (or some variation thereof!).   Even our pediatrician noted that most kids she refers end up talking by the time the evaluation happens.  But the little mama worry voice in the back of my head thinks that going ahead with the evaluation can’t hurt – if something is “wrong” we’d want to find out now.  So ahead we go.

It’s a bit ironic that two very wordy people would have a kiddo who has decided to take his time using words.  We joke that he’s quite likely to burst forth into full sentences any day now (if not his dissertation!).  I often feel he is cataloging words, waiting to build up a big enough store before trying to verbalize them.  Everything is “da” – as in “what’s that?” or “look at that!”  And his little finger definitely knows how to point!

There’s plenty of other communicating going on as well: waving, smiles and giggles, hugs and kisses, petting the dogs, shakes for yes and no and so on.  Callum does use three signs – milk, all done, and more.  I should teach him more; guess I just kept expecting that he’d be saying those words instead of signing them by now.  He has said “all done” on a few occasions and we think he’s said “doggie” and “daddy” in context.  But not more than twice.  I also swear he said “Oscar” the other day (one of our dogs); sometimes I worry that he’s been talking all along but his words just sound the same so we don’t know – da!

One of the funniest things he does – as a non-talker – is to “talk” on the phone, voice inflection and all.  The kid mimics everything we do – except sounds.  And I swear he understands most of what we say (ok, maybe not most!); it’s really amazing what he responds to and the directions he can follow.

So, that’s where we are.  More next week on what the evaluation process is like…unless Callum decides to find that word explosion between now and then

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